Joe Castiglione, Boston

joe_castiglioneJoe Castiglione, PbP, Bos – Rookie Year: 1979. A New England native with a distinctive high pitched voice that is so devoid of bass that it should only exist on AM radio. A purist, he resists drifting into the silly anecdotes that so many play by plan rely on to get through the mid-summer doldrums, instead choosing to pepper the listener with historical information regarding the Red Sox opponent.  If the Sox are playing in Detroit you might just learn about Sandcut, Indiana, the hometown of former Tigers pitcher Dizzy Trout (1939-1952). The effectiveness of these anecdotes are probably best described as “listener dependent”. Nonetheless, when you wake up from the inevitable 6th inning siesta, any seasoned listener will be able to accurately gauge the status of the game by detecting the tension in his voice.

Quotes (provided by the Red Sox telelvision broadcast team): “I feel bueno”

Sit in a lawn chair in the mid-July sun, drink domestic beer, sneak in a few naps rating: 1  bud, 2(+) nap. Total Score: 3

Jeff Levering, Milwaukee

jeff_leveringJeff Levering, PbP, Mlw – Rookie Year: 2015. Uninspiring Bob Uecker 3-inning fill-in. A receding tide. Provides a breather each game for a legend, while also providing listeners a window for napping. Talks of the players with a Midwestern kindness, untainted by the knowledge that baseball players are scum. Spent his formative years training in Pawtucket, but sadly did not pick up the charming Rhode Island accent. Computer generated generic broadcaster voice type 1.

Quotes: “That baby is a real good sleeper” “Anyone out there today with young babies, sleep is at a premium”

Sit in a lawn chair in the mid-July sun, drink domestic beer, sneak in a few naps rating: 0 buds, 1(+) nap. Total Score: 1

Danny Gladden, Minnesota

danny_gladdenDan Gladden, PbP/Clr, MN – Rookie Year: 2006. Sounds half in the bag during second inning of a Thursday day game. Middling former player bonus points galore: A career .270 hitter known as “The Dazzle Man” with a World Series Grand Slam. His voice is strained, stilted, and tainted with years of greenie usage. Ups the professionalism when burdened with the responsibility of a play-by-play inning.  Really spreads his wings as a color man. Strong aversion to using Twins players’ given surnames in favor of y-ending nicknames (Gibson -> Gibby).

Quotes: “Hey bear stay there!” “I thought the gift would be a Coors Light or something”

Sit in a lawn chair in the mid-July sun, drink domestic beer, sneak in a few naps rating: 6 pack of buds, 0 naps. Total Score: 6